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     Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)

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    Rhian Kael

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    Dragon Trainer In Training

    Occupation : Bartender at Hookfang

    PostSubject: Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)   Tue May 08 2018, 22:52

    March, 2041 || Rhian's Flat

    Seven days after she left the Song's flat on Lavender's birthday, Rhian still felt like she'd swallowed fire. It may be just an ember now, low in her stomach, but the flame was there none the less. It was a miracle she hadn't gotten completely sloshed at some point until now. The homework she was bent over on a Saturday afternoon was part of her reasoning to stay present.

    That, and she wouldn't allow herself to slip backwards. Too often Rhian turned to alcohol to numb the hurt. She may be a generally 'happy' witch, but it didn't mean life was perfect. In the last six months it felt like some kind of veil had been lifted back from her life, showing all the holes that she'd somehow danced around this last decade.

    But they were there. Her family turning on her when her magic first showed. Having to uproot her life to live with strangers. Welcomed by the Song's with open arms, only to feel the rejection of the magical world keenly in every encounter with John and other Half and Purebloods who looked down on her. Connor setting off on his own when he graduated ahead of her. And when the chance finally came for her to have that little bit of happiness return to her, it felt like maybe it had never really been there.

    Leaning back on the wall her twin bed was pushed against, Rhian let her eyes close as she set her book to the side. A part of her wanted to mourn the loss of her oldest friend. Clearly nothing she could do was ever going to be enough to fix them. Not returning his affection hurt him. Returning his affection pissed him off. In all their years together, not one time had they been this separated.

    It felt like a part of her was missing.

    Rhian stood to stretch out her limbs, having been sat on the bed for two hours now studying. Her dark purple leggings and cable knit sweater were warm enough, along with her slippers. The studio flat may be small, but the lack of space meant it was easy to heat. She padded over to the kitchenette to put a kettle on. Tess was due over any time now to see her place. With a flick of her wand, she transfigured the bed into two cozy chairs for the pair of them.
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    Tess Holmes

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    Healer In Training


    PostSubject: Re: Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)   Tue May 08 2018, 23:09



    There were many things that Tess knew that she was good at: academics, fake social niceties, and Rhian. There were only a few times were those subjects tended to surprise her, and this was definitely one of those times. For out of no where it seemed her friend decided to get her things from her adoptive parents and simply move into her own. It was an odd thing because Tess somehow viewed Rhian as the type to be adventurous, but never so spontaneous. Both girls tended to be wary when it came to life decisions, yet it was surprisingly Tess who tended to be the chaotic one.

    Yet somehow she was the one now visiting her friend in her new....home. Yes, it was a home. Still, a small wrinkles in wariness rose within her as she lightly dusted the stairway as she walked up to the studio flat that her friend managed to attain. She had stopped herself multiple times from offering her money to find a better housing district, but realistically she knew that Rhian's options were limited. It was these times that she forgot how the world tended to be for the 'lower' bloods.

    Her train of thought ended as she felt her hands tingle as she held the basket tightly against her side. She figured that if she could not offer her friend money, she could offer her the bare necessities: food, extra blankets, other items throughout the house. The bag was heavily charmed to make everything fit as needed and she would make sure that the place was safe and homey.

    She knocked on the door waiting to see just what kind disaster that Rhian had gotten herself in. 'She could have just moved in with me' she thought as she stared at the walls that had a...a vintage feel to them.


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    Rhian Kael

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    Occupation : Bartender at Hookfang

    PostSubject: Re: Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)   Tue May 08 2018, 23:27

    As the kettle boiled, Rhian took a last look around her new home. From the corner where her cabinets, refrigerator and stove were, she could see practically everything. The only separate space was the bathroom, which thankfully wasn't as cramped as she had worried it would be. Small miracles, she'd thought.

    With her bed, desk, and a two-seater dining table, the place really had all she needed. It was easy to keep clean, which she made sure she kept up on. But knowing someone else was going to see her space, she worried at her bottom lip.

    If it was anyone else, any other Pureblood in the world, she would have refused to have them over. Not ever her foster parents had been over to see her yet, as she had made up excuses each time they'd asked. This small space had become her own little haven away from the world in the last month, and it was strange inviting someone into that. But she loved Tess. More importantly, she trusted her. And knew that she would be kind in the face of Rhian's new reality.

    Hearing a knock at the door, she couldn't stop herself from jumping a little, her nerves still getting to her. She unlatched the three locks (two were new) and opened the door to find Tess holding a bundle.

    "Hey," she breathed out, feeling the tension leaving her as everything within her registered that she was safe. The kettle whistled behind her. Motioning Tess in, she closed the door behind her. "Make yourself at home. I'd give you a tour, but..." she gestured to the room as a whole, "that's about it."

    Instead of feeling self conscious, Rhian was surprised to feel a bit of pride in having her own space in the world to share with her friend. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.
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    Tess Holmes

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    PostSubject: Re: Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)   Tue May 08 2018, 23:38



    There were times where Tess forgot just what privilege she had. It was hard to really find herself being upset by the life she was given. Yes, she was oftentimes neglected in her youth, and yes she was born the wrong gender in her fathers eyes, but there were things she knew she had advantages in. For one thing, she had money and money made the world go round. The money in her life allowed her the privileges of buying more than the bare necessities and as she took in Rhian's place she paused and thanked her father who what he had given her. Because while she did not get any love, she got the material possessions. Yet, looking over at her friend she saw how proud she looked and she forced a fake smile on her face, one that soon became a bit more sincere as she truly took her in.

    "I'm proud of you for getting this place on your own" she said softly, pretending to really take the whole place in. It was the size of her sitting room, and that itself was a bit concerning but she masked her face well.

    "But you know if you do ever need anything you can stay with me right?" she wanted to make it clear that the door would always be open to her should she need it.

    Putting her bag on the floor she opened it and found herself rummaging through it. "I brought some things that you maybe could need you know? Some blankets, cooking-ware, hangers," and after this she began to mumble "an armoire, a dining room table, a sofa, some chairs, an ottoman" her voice grew in volume again "those crisps you munch on, some fruits, oh! And those marmalade thingies you enjoy"


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    Rhian Kael

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    PostSubject: Re: Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)   Sun May 13 2018, 01:47

    Rhian's smile beamed at Tess's praise. "It was nothing really. When I talked to my boss about taking on more responsibilities, that I was looking to move out on my own, he mentioned that he and his wife were looking to rent this place out. It needed a lot of love."

    If she had to guess, the small flat had been vacant for some time. The couple had ensured that appliances and plumbing were in working order, but the walls and flooring in the bathroom showed wear from years of neglect. With permission, Rhian had painted most of the walls in soft jewel tones, happy to have magic to make the jobs easier. While she generally liked doing things by hand, it was a welcome fix in times like this.

    She set a few biscuits on a tray with the tea and carried it over to the cushioned chairs. Her eyes softened at her friend's offer. "I know, and thank you. You know I'll still come and bug you." Now that they were reconnected, Rhian looked forward to spending more time together.

    A laugh overtook her as Tess dug into an extended bag, listing off things. As much as the other girl prided herself on not carrying for others, no one would be able to tell with the way she could mother Rhian on her best days. The tea forgotten momentarily, Rhian took a few of the items out of Tess's hands as they were brought out, tucking them here and there around her flat.

    "You know you didn't have to," she said, her voice showing that she appreciated it none the less. "Though I should be happy you're the only one I've let over here. I can't imagine what Lavender and Atticus would insist on unloading on me."

    She would invite them over in time, Rhian reasoned with herself. For the moment, though, she needed a breather from that part of her life and everything that came with it.
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    Tess Holmes

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    PostSubject: Re: Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)   Sun May 13 2018, 02:05



    The way that Rhian beamed told Tess more than she needed to know. While the reasoning behind her move was questionable, it was clear that she did take pride in the small place. It was imperfect, old and it was clear that in her friend's eyes it was nothing that some 'love' couldn't fix.

    It was throughout her friendship that Tess realized that Rhian had a fondness for odd, broken or quirky things. How often did she find odd things in her friend's bag when she was looking for a simple quill? But it was simply Rhian's large heart that would tell her that with some love things could be fixed.

    But this place, well it would also take some galleons. She saw the paint marks on some wood from Rhian's work and she smiled knowing that her friend tried hard. This would not be her forever home, it would be the first step towards proper adulthood.

    Still, Tess was comforted in knowing that bringing the items did not insult her friend in any way. It was not like they were new...well they were unused but last seasons so her brother had thrown it her way telling her to donate it if needed. Shaking her head, she helped put things in different places within the room giving it some dimension and extra comfort that would be needed.

    "You know, I know I didn't have to, but I want to" she turned and smiled a bit shyly. "I know how scary it can be to be alone for the first few nights...and the first months. But it allows you to really look at yourself and see just who you are away from people that love you."

    The mention of her friend's adoptive family made her feel a bit bad for the old couple. Rhian clearly missed them and it was clear they loved her too. Tess had not had the privilege of meeting them simply because she feared that their son in law would tell her father about her interactions with a muggleborn, and to her she could not find it in her to risk it.

    "I'm sure that they will be fine coming in now." looking around the room and smiling. "Though I have to say, nothing will be good enough for them. That's how parents are."

    Her father, while cold and uncaring was similar in that way. While he was not demonstrative, the idea of her living in anything but perfection was unheard of.

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    Rhian Kael

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    PostSubject: Re: Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)   Sun May 13 2018, 02:45

    As the pair finished unloading Tess's house-warming gifts, Rhian settled into one of the chairs. Tess wasn't wrong. The first week had been hard to bare, falling asleep in relative silence was a new things for the young witch. At least back home there were other people around at night, so she knew she wasn't alone. Though she would never admit it, she had to sleep with her small lamp on a few nights before she got a nightlight.

    But like Tess said, it was more than just being alone in the physical space. Rhian's whole life was changing, which was part of why she'd moved out. Her mind floating back to that night so long ago, a bitter taste settled in her mouth. Trying to wash it away, she grabbed a biscuit.

    "Well, we all have to grow up sometime. Don't we?"

    No, nothing would be good enough, no matter how much the older couple loved her. Even though the pair had been supportive outwardly of Rhian's choice, they'd tried to subtle tell her she never had to leave. Well, if subtle was going on about how much room they had in the flat, and that they were sure they could transfigure her floor into a whole living space. "Fit for a family" is what they'd said.

    As if Rhian could even imagine having a family now. Her lips pursed in thought. She pulled the blanket Tess had brought into her lap, fingering the soft material.

    Maybe a change of topic. "How are things in the healing world?"
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    Tess Holmes

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    PostSubject: Re: Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)   Sun May 13 2018, 03:06



    While they both curled up in the couch, Tess allowed a blanket to be thrown over her by Rhian before she got comfortable. It was chilly here, and so she curled under the fluffy blanket as they both tried to catch up. It was one of those days that meant that they would find warmth with wine.

    Murmuring her incantation, the wine bottles and glasses carried their way. Why get up when food and drinks came to you. The idea of using the table was long forgotten as she brought over the plates of pasta she had brought as takeout. It was only during these times that she indulged in things.

    It was mid chew that she took in Rhian's comment about growing up. It triggered a memory, one that involved a messy Rhian and a messier Connor. It had been that moment that she remembered clearly. Taking a sip of wine she processed the thought. If she did all of this for some man...well she could hex his bollocks off.

    "We need to yeah, but why rush it? We are only young for so long before the responsibilities overwhelm you. I mean, one day I'll wake up and be Mycroft" she shuddered at the thought.


    "How are things in the healing world?"

    The quick shift was not missed, but she ignored it and took the bait. Who else was she going to tell about school?

    "Hm..it's okay. There's this new classmate that won't stop staring at me and it's weird. It's no wonder he's failing the proper stitching techniques"

    She never understood how people did that. To waste time in a place where others learn was always frustrating. She hated it. What she failed to mention to Rhian was that she had also taken to potioneering at home rather than the lab. She feared running into Ben and possibly hexing him.

    "You? Gotten your hands on dragon eggs yet?"

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    Rhian Kael

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    PostSubject: Re: Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)   Sun May 13 2018, 03:28

    Rhian's eyes lit up at the food and wine Tess enchanted over to them. Flicking her own wand, she put a stasis charm on the tea tray, in case they wanted it later, grabbing her plate out of the air and digging in.

    She listened dutifully to Tess's comments about not rushing. Laughing at the idea of Tess becoming her surly brother, she purposefully avoided the rest of the comment. "I can see you, though. Fierce, with a take-no-shit attitude. You'll be a force to be reckoned with at the hospital." While she understood from everything her friend said about her brother that he wasn't exactly a cuddly teddy bear, Rhian could imagine that kind of personality being necessary in an environment like that.

    A look of surprise showed on her face at the mention of some boy. Part of her wanted to goad her friend on receiving attention from the opposite sex. She held back though, in light of recent events, choosing to simply nod understanding and smile.

    Setting her food down to try the wine, Rhian was glad Tess had brought the slightly sweeter stuff that she preferred. When she set her glass back down, she let out an exasperated sigh. "No, not yet. We've gotten to visit the huts where they keep them, but they've said we won't be handling the hatchlings til third year."

    It was a real shame, too. There was a part in her upper years where she would be assigned a youngly to train up. While some of her fellow first years seemed scared of the idea, Rhian couldn't wait for her chance.
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    Tess Holmes

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    PostSubject: Re: Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)   Tue May 15 2018, 22:11



    Talking about school was safe and both were thankfully willing to skid around an underlying issue, or problem that one of them held. She felt perfectly fine, but Rhian on the other hand...there was something that definitely needed to be poked or prodded. The question was...should she try to lead them there.

    The idea of their last conversation that ended with her in tears flashed through her mind and she winced. No, that was not ideal. So she let the wine cause them to properly relax and instead naturally lead them to where they needed to be.

    It was but a half an hour later, once she felt her cheeks heat up, that she knew maybe it was time.

    "Rhian...how are you? E-emotionally" she forced herself not to wince at the awkwardness of phrasing but she couldn't help it. She wanted to know just...not prod too much.


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    Rhian Kael

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    PostSubject: Re: Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)   Tue May 15 2018, 22:27

    As they chatting about school, finishing their meal, Rhian refilled her glass at least twice. She'd had no intention of drinking, or at least getting drunk, but even talking about classes was hitting too close to home. When she was at the Academy, completely immersed in what she was being asked to do, it was easy to forget who's footsteps she was following in. Who it was that had lit the spark in her so long ago to study dragons.

    Her chest was aching something fierce by the time they were done eating, and she rubbed at it as she leaned back into the cushions. There had been a lull in conversation, Rhian could tell Tess was gearing up for something she wasn't comfortable with. Maybe more about Ben?

    Oh. Well...it shouldn't have surprised her really. She took another large drink of wine and held the glass in her lap.

    "I'm..." More alone than I've ever felt? Questioning everything I thought about myself and my life? Not sure who I really am anymore? Her eyes scanned the little flat she called home now. "I'm okay."

    Tess was smarter than that, though. And Rhian knew her friend deserved better from her than that shit answer. "Actually, I don't know what I'm doing anymore." She was beyond crying, instead her eyes felt hollow, as if they were remembering all the tears they'd shed. "Right now I'm just trying to take on each day as it comes."
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    Tess Holmes

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    PostSubject: Re: Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)   Tue May 15 2018, 22:48



    Tess knew the moment that when she began to prod that it would go wrong. Often times she knew that when she would be poked she would snap, but Rhian wasn't like that. Rhian knew what she needed, knew what she believed in and was overall the most stable person she knew.

    That is until she heard that phrase:
    "I'm okay"

    That made her frown. That was never good, in fact when she said the phrase she would get a 'look' from Rhian telling her to really express herself. But it seems this time around she didn't need to do anything for her friend continued to really say what was in her mind.

    Did it surprise her? Absolutely. Out of everyone, she had her shit together so it was a bit daunting to look at a mirror.

    "I...I" she was a loss for words. She briefly took in her friend and noticed just how much she had changed outwardly. She had a knew place, new hair, new clothes yet she felt hollow.

    Delicately she placed her hand on her friend's cheek and moved the blond strand from her face.

    "Hey" her voice was soft but wished to attract attention. "Where's that girl that's always happy? Is she still in there? Because I see this brand new shiny person, but I have to say I miss my person. Is she in there somewhere?"

    Tess wasn't stupid; Rhian was far from perfect, but she was someone that at least knew who she was. At least she knew a while ago and in her mind, whatever change came, your innate being went with it. But perhaps that was a naive thought especially at the hollow look in her eyes.

    "Outside changes don't fix what's inside. Trust me I should know"

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    Rhian Kael

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    PostSubject: Re: Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)   Tue May 15 2018, 23:14

    Rhian's eyebrows raised slightly in question at the unexpected touch. Tess wasn't a demonstrative person by nature, not with most people at least. It made her support of Rhian feel all the more special because of that. A small twitch at her mouth indicated she was trying to listen, to give her full attention.

    Good question, she thought. Maybe it was the wine, making things look a bit different than they normally did, but Tess was right. Rhian had worked hard to change everything around her in such a short time. And while the things around her, her belongings and treasures, were still hers, nothing felt right.

    "Tess," her voice felt heavy in her throat, like it was someone else's. "I think I just figured that I had to change. Like...my life couldn't be the same after..." Rhian's eyes closed, not really sure what to call one of the worst days of her life. When they opened the pain had ebbed a bit.

    "I don't know who I'm supposed to be now. At the time, I didn't know how to be me without my best friends." She reached out to squeeze one of Tess's hands gently, showing she knew they'd made up and that everything was okay with them. If not for Tess, then for herself.

    Her head settled to the side, resting on the back of the couch. "I'm still trying to figure out how to get it to stop hurting," she mumbled.
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    Tess Holmes

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    PostSubject: Re: Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)   Tue May 15 2018, 23:46



    Tess could not hide her expression of sadness even if she wanted to. It was depressing to see someone who she measured her state of happiness to, crumble before her. A part of her felt guilty for giving Rhian the space that she had requested, yet the snide part of her was still hurt at being pushed aside. After all Rhian had been the one who avoided her while she waited outside, waited patiently, sent her care packages, owls, anything to get her back.

    "But life isn't supposed to be the same way forever, or else living would be boring! People come into your life and stay forever" she squeezed her hands, "and some are a chapter of your life. My grand-mere always tells me that your story should never revolve around a man, no matter how spectacular or how dull they may be"

    What she wouldn't say was that she had been told those words but two weeks ago once her grand-mere found out about her pity party. She had begged for her not to send a howler at Ben and it was later, over tea, that the two spoke about feelings.

    "You should never question just who you are because that doesn't change all of a sudden. You can evolve, bloom, blossom into someone else, over time. I mean are we the same teenagers that met all those years ago? Merlin no." she smiled half heartedly. "I'd like to think I'm better now. And you are as astounding as ever."

    It was only at the mention of hurting that Tess properly paused. That was not something she was good at fixing. Because she too hurt. She didn't hurt from Ben as much, but she hurt from her father's neglect, the negligence, the abandonment of her mother (death seemed like an easy route). All those things hurt, and they probably always would but she knew that's what made everyone human.

    "I..I think that one day you wake up and it stops hurting" she was lying. "At least I hope so"

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    Rhian Kael

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    PostSubject: Re: Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)   Sun Jun 03 2018, 20:45

    Rhian listened carefully to Tess words. It wasn't often that they opened up this much to each other. Not out of fear or embarrassment. Just...they honestly didn't spend a lot of time tackling problems like this. Sure, they had their struggles through the years, growing up and becoming who they were going to be. But this was all new territory.

    "We are better," she responded resolutely. Pulling up an image of herself in her mind, trying to convince herself of that statement, her hand went to her hair. "Though I guess this...was a bit much," she smiled. While a promotion at work and moving out on her own could be seen as natural maturation, changing her look hadn't been necessary.

    "Never revolve around a man." Was that what she'd been doing? She'd always imagined Connor as some significant part of herself. Like another limb, or a shadow. When he suddenly wasn't there anymore, she had been surprised how vital he'd become in her life. Had she really been so blind?

    Part of her wanted to ask Tess about that last comment. They'd only made up just recently, with Tess spilling the beans on what had gone down with her and Ben. It wasn't far fetched to imagine that she was still struggling with things, but Rhian got the impression she didn't want to be pushed on it. She decided to open up herself a bit more.

    "We actually had to see each other the other day, Connor and I." Taking another drink of wine, she steeled her nerves against the memories. In the days since, she'd gone through every moment, looking for one single glimmer of hope. But she'd come up empty. "I tried to...hell, I don't even know what I was doing. Like, at all! But whatever I did I just fucked it up more, Tess."
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    Tess Holmes

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    PostSubject: Re: Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)   Sun Jun 03 2018, 21:08



    As Rhian admitted that perhaps her change was a bit drastic, Tess simply shook her head. "You look lovely in any form" she complimented her. And she did, it only seemed that it was more of a mask or protection from the world.  And Tess knew that too well when she would put on makeup. But all this was not Rhian, and that was the part that did not sit well with her.

    But as their conversation shifted to Connor, Tess shifted a bit uncomfortably at the though of what had happened recently. But the idea of her friend blaming herself made her a bit upset herself.

    "Hey..look whatever you did at New Years was not solely on you. He could have stepped up long before Heath. I think the resentment is deep there. I mean..when he and I crashed into one another he was even annoyed at me. And I hadn't even said anything." she paused for a second. "He had been upset at what I had 'done' to Ben to make him act odd. As if he needed to know anything" she frowned. "In turn, I told him to not get involved like I didn't ever get involved to your chaotic relationship. At that, he merely told me that I should have because at least I could have destroyed it before you two did it yourselves."

    She had taken offense to that, because she never destroyed things or relationships on purpose. It was simply not her style.

    "But he was already angry, so I don't know how much blame you had in all of this" reaching over to grab her hand she squeezed softly. " Was it that bad ?"

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    Rhian Kael

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    PostSubject: Re: Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)   Sun Jun 03 2018, 21:56

    A soft laugh escaped her as Rhian read between the lines. Sometimes Tess's breeding really did shine through. While she'd said Rhian looked fine any way, she could tell the other girl didn't like the blonde. To be honest, she was finding it a bit more of a handful than she'd imagined. Part of her whole style change was because of having to adjust to the color. She'd been considering going back to brunette for a few weeks now. Maybe it was time.

    She was glad to hear someone else say things she'd tried to tell herself all this time. That maybe Connor should have spoken sooner, not waiting til some other guy finally showed interest in her! Maybe he'd only actually wanted her when he couldn't have her. She'd heard about guys like that.

    But when Tess said she'd actually seen him too, Rhian's brow furrowed. While they'd never been 'friendly', the two of them had always been civil for her. But apparently that had changed about Connor as well. And while she thought it hurt to have her and Connor labeled as 'chaotic', Rhian wasn't prepared for the last bit.

    'Destroyed'. Was that really what he wanted? Had it gone so far that he'd decided there was no way back? That's what it was sounding like, and the last bit of hope Rhian had been holding on to felt like it was floating away.

    "It really was," she resigned. "I was crying...well, not crying. But there were tears. I had cut my hand on a broken dish, and he came to help..." He probably hadn't really even come in on his own. It was probably only because of Lavender. "And I just...I wanted him to hug me and make it stop. All of it."

    She sniffed and realized that her eyes were watering now as well, though no tears fell. "It was stupid, and I said stupid shit I don't even remember." She looked Tess in the eyes, trying to convey how much this hurt. "I don't think it'll ever get better, Tess. Maybe this is just...it."
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    Tess Holmes

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    PostSubject: Re: Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)   Sun Jun 03 2018, 22:24



    It pained Tess to see Rhian be weepy. She remembered once her grand-mere telling her that 'feelings were for ugly people'. And at first she had assumed it was 'ugly people are the only people that feel' but it was until years later that her grand-mere properly explained it. 'You are the ugliest when you let your emotions get the best of you. When you cry, you are always at your ugliest because you are at your rawest.' And it seemed to be true. She never hated herself more than when she cried.

    Still, she found herself going through the actions of rubbing her friend's back and trying to comfort her. What didn't sit right with her was Connor's words to her. He had wanted her to already ruin them early on, as if she would ever. But she figured that it was the pain talking.

    "Otter" she began using her pet name. "I hate to admit it, but he's in pain too. There was so much ugliness coming from his mouth, but the pain is evident...trust me, I've been there."

    And she had. There was a multitude of times where she was at her ugliest, and it was always for the same reason: pain. And so, in some weird way she found herself defending the blond.

    "I cannot believe I'm saying this, but if you want to fix this..." she made a hand gesture in a form of a circle. "You need to give him air, because I love you do death, but sometimes, you're awful at giving space." she smiled fondly. "Let him seethe and let him grieve. You in turn do the same. Only when you've both overcome the pain, I think that you can try to mend things."

    It oddly sounded like what her brother had said to her when she had been hurt too.

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    Rhian Kael

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    Dragon Trainer In Training

    Occupation : Bartender at Hookfang

    PostSubject: Re: Lay My Faults Bare (Tess)   Sun Jun 03 2018, 22:54

    Nicknames are silly things. Some are teasing and others embarrassing. But when Tess used theirs, it made Rhian feel safe. Loved, in a way that was special and uniquely them. It reminded her of long ago when she had a sister. She often wondered how true those memories were, or if they were just dreams of a time before her world was turned upside down. It couldn't be all fabricated, though. The warm, fuzzy feeling she got when thinking of her younger sister was real enough.

    Pulling herself back into the now, she nodded along to Tess's assessment of the situation. It was true, that she had trouble letting things go. She'd never been one to shy away from feelings, especially compared to Tess. Whether it be her enthusiasm for Dragons and all things animal related, or her complete hatred of Arithmancy. There were few times in Rhian's life where she kept things hidden, at least from her best friend. With strangers, Rhian tended to play things closer to the chest.

    "I know he's hurting, I do." And it was true. "Hell, I wanted to make it stop hurting him. I mean....I think that's the worst part. Is that whatever I do seems to hurt him more. That's what I was trying not to do."

    But it'd gone horribly wrong. She realized later that he probably thought she was talking about how she was hurting, as they stood in the kitchen. The reality was, she was asking how she could keep Connor from hurting. Stupid, she scolded herself inwardly.

    "You're right. I mean....I can only control me, really." It wasn't a new idea to her, but saying it aloud made it more true. Determination sat heavily within her, taking up residence in her heart in a way it hadn't in a long time. "If he can't get past it, well that'll be on him, then."

    Something about sitting here with Tess today, letting it all out, felt like the end of her months-long struggle. Maybe tomorrow would be brighter.
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