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     Nothing's fine, I'm Torn (Ben)

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    Connor Bailey

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    Dragon Trainer In Training


    PostSubject: Nothing's fine, I'm Torn (Ben)    Sat Mar 24 2018, 23:00

    November, 2040 || Connor and Ben's Flat

    It all started innocently enough; he had read a long time ago that the best way to get over heartbreak was a drink. And boy did he need it. It was simple vodka and cranberry juice and it moved on and on until he could no longer feel the pain.

    Except he could. As he lay in the sitting room, with his legs crossed staring at the window, he knew he looked pathetic. Still, he chaser was long gone and now his body was a cocktail of beers, vodka and sadness. He knew it was worse once the music started. His love of muggle music had him playing old rock songs.

    "Every rose has it's thorn" he groaned slurrily.

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    Benjamin Watson

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    Potioneer In Training

    OOC : Tiffany

    PostSubject: Re: Nothing's fine, I'm Torn (Ben)    Sun Mar 25 2018, 00:13

    The library had been blissfully void of other people today. At least in the area Ben had chosen to settle down in for the last two hours. The assignment for this week on poisons of South America required a few of the heavier texts. Ones he had no desire to lug back to the flat. He knew what he was looking for, and it was no time at all before he'd taken note of the relevant details for later.

    A silent nod to the worker as he headed out the door, and Ben was Appareting back to the flat. His hand shifted the knocker as he entered the entrance hall, hearing the familiar hum of Mrs. Stubbs' vacuum in the other room. While he generally hated habit for habit's sake, there was something....comforting about knowing the comings and goings of their landlady.

    He shrugged out of his overcoat as he moved up towards their flat, feeling his stomach groan in protest. A quick sift through the last twenty for hours told him he'd eaten a sandwich last night before bed. This morning had been rather hectic, so he'd missed breakfast. Maybe Bailey has made something, he hoped.

    But that wasn't the scene before him as he stopped short inside their living room.

    It took more seconds than Ben would admit, maybe even a full minute, before he could understand what was going on. Strange music - no matter how often Connor played that Muggle stuff, it was still odd to Ben - filtered through the room as his roommate sat starring out the window.

    "Bailey?" his question seemed to fall on deaf ears, with no response from the man across the room. Did something happen? He padded softly around to catch sight of his friends face.

    He was confused. "Connor?"


    Last edited by Benjamin Watson on Sun Mar 25 2018, 00:56; edited 1 time in total
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    Connor Bailey

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    Dragon Trainer In Training


    PostSubject: Re: Nothing's fine, I'm Torn (Ben)    Sun Mar 25 2018, 00:39



    Connor knew that he made a pathetic scene. Around him there were empty beer bottles, glasses long forgotten, and between his legs was a half empty bottle of vodka. The cranberry juice was slightly spilled on that carpet that they both hated and his hair lay flat on his forehead, too lazy to really get himself ready.

    As he heard the door open, he didn't move. Instead he felt himself ignore Ben's greeting. Partially he couldn't really hear him, and another part of him didn't have the energy to respond. Still, as he heard his actual name, he turned to lazily wave lazily.

    "Heyyyyyyyyyy" he greeted loudly, eyes red. "'Bout time you got here"

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    Benjamin Watson

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    Potioneer In Training

    OOC : Tiffany

    PostSubject: Re: Nothing's fine, I'm Torn (Ben)    Sun Mar 25 2018, 01:10

    Woah. Now that he was closer to Connor, Ben was hit with a wave of scents, the sources of which were scattered across the floor. He counted them quickly and his eyes grew wide. While Connor enjoyed a beer more often than not, in all their years together Ben had never seen him like this.

    If the physical evidence wasn't enough to tell him how utterly sloshed his flatmate was, the man's voice would easily do that. Not the most articulate on his best days, Connor's speech was nearing nonsense in how slurred it was.

    Ben knelt down and took a seat lightly on the floor, avoiding a pinkish red puddle to their right. Be nice, a voice easily recognizable as Connor's floated through his mind. Funny, as it sounded nothing like him now. "Can I ask what this is about?"

    His friend was an odd duck, for a wizard. But he usually had reasons for doing what he did.
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    Connor Bailey

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    Dragon Trainer In Training


    PostSubject: Re: Nothing's fine, I'm Torn (Ben)    Sun Mar 25 2018, 01:17



    Connor had never considered himself a light weight. Often times the pubs were his place of relaxation with a few Quidditch mates. Usually a drink was in between playing pool, darts, and that was fine. But here there were no games, nothing that made it socially acceptable to drink. No, instead there was a very sad and pathetic teenager wondering why the world was so cruel and why he wasn't allowed to get what he wanted.

    But sadness wasn't good, he wasn't allowed to be sad. His best friend was here and he knew that he couldn't allow anyone to see him like this.

    "Ben! How you doing buddy?" And with a strong pat, he found his friend sitting on the wet cranberry juice. "Man, mate did you get into the sauces a bit early? You're clumsy"

    He laugh a somewhat hollow laugh before he lifted his hand to wipe his nearly forgotten tears.

    "Merlin I'm a mess. Why am I a mess?"

    He knew why, but why was he so affected by this? He didn't understand why tears had fallen and why he didn't just find himself shagging with some girl to make him feel better. It seemed wrong to do so, especially when he felt so...drunk. And with that he slowly laid on the dirty carpet, ignoring some beer bottles that he laid atop of.

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    Benjamin Watson

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    Potioneer In Training

    OOC : Tiffany

    PostSubject: Re: Nothing's fine, I'm Torn (Ben)    Sun Mar 25 2018, 02:26

    Connor's words didn't even register before Ben found himself knocked sideways. Right into the pink spill on the carpet. His fingers dabbed at it lightly as the liquid soaked into his grey dress shirt, coming up to his nose to identify the juice. Well, thank Merlin for magic, he thought, or else that would never come out.

    He was quick to scowl over at his friend. Connor was the shorter of the two, but Ben had learned a long time ago that the other man had strength in body that he never wood. Not with his hours hovered over a cauldron. With the added lack of bodily control that came with drinking - and volume control, if his ears were being honest - Connor had severely misjudged his friendly pat.

    Not bothering to answer the stupid questions, he focused on the more legitimate ones. "I honestly don't know why you're a mess. That's what I'm trying to find out," he bit out exasperatedly.

    But he was frozen again, begrudgingly, by Connor wiping at his eyes. What?! He'd never seen the other man cry. Not once. It took the edge off his mood if only a fraction, as he watched his friend flop back onto the floor in an undignified sprawl.

    "Just...stay here. Don't try to do anything." It was a quick thing to flit to the kitchen and back, a glass of water in hand. But when he returned, Connor was still on the floor. "Um...can you," his free hand waved a bit at the prone body in front of him, urging it to move on its own. "Just budge up a bit, yeah?" The hand moved over to Connor's shoulder and tried to be of some use, though in his unease, he was doing nothing more than a nudge to get Connor to sit up.
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    Connor Bailey

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    Dragon Trainer In Training


    PostSubject: Re: Nothing's fine, I'm Torn (Ben)    Sun Mar 25 2018, 02:37



    Groaning, he rolled over as Ben was doing whatever he was supposed to be doing. His body felt heavy and his limbs moving a lot slower than he should. When he felt things move away he went back to his original position. That is until he lifted his head a bit to get another sip of vodka. Hissing he offered some to Ben out of complete courtesy.

    "Have some, feel with me" he slurred before letting his head lay back.

    A bit of time passed, but it was when the music somehow stopped that he found himself saying aloud what he had refused to say before:

    "Rhian doesn't like me and she never did...she has somebody she loves." It was a croak that came out, only for it to be come a whisper when he turned to face his friend. "You were right. Merlin you're always right"

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    Benjamin Watson

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    OOC : Tiffany

    PostSubject: Re: Nothing's fine, I'm Torn (Ben)    Sun Mar 25 2018, 19:39

    Lot of good the water did, Ben thought as he watched Connor return to the bottle soon after. Perhaps it would save his stomach a bit in the morning, but the way he was going that was a bit unlikely. The pair of them were used to bad mornings, however. Especially on Ben's side of things.

    That's why it was nothing for him to take the proffered drink, especially if it would get it out of the other man's hands for a time. He hissed as it went down, hating the taste of the clear liquid. No intention of getting sloshed, if Connor wanted him to "feel" - whatever that meant - he would at least indulge him a bit.

    That blasted girl again. Of course. He would have cursed out loud if experience hadn't shown him it was not a good idea to do so about 'Connor's girl', as the man himself liked to call her. Maybe not anymore, though.

    "I may be that," he wouldn't correct him on that. But for once, Ben wasn't entirely happy at this idea. Not if it got him a big, bumbling pile of Bailey. "Did she say as much? Whenever all this....mess happened, that is."

    He would be very much surprised if they'd verbally acknowledged that feelings even existed between them, let alone that the girl didn't return those of his friend.
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    Connor Bailey

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    Dragon Trainer In Training


    PostSubject: Re: Nothing's fine, I'm Torn (Ben)    Sun Mar 25 2018, 20:04



    Ben was always right about things, but in his hearts of hearts he felt that there was just one thing that he could never get: Love. Because no matter how many times he went on and on about how Connor was 'wasting his time' being 'foolish' and overall being stupid, Connor soldiered on. He had this unwavering beliefs that he and Rhian would end up together and she felt the same way.

    But damn him, he was right. Rhian wasn't meant for an oaf like him. She was far too pretty to not be swooped up by some wizard that would never appreciate her as much as he did.

    "She didn't have to." he said after a while. It was hard to take in Ben's comment through his own headspace. "She went on about having a boyfriend and just...she never once..ONCE ever considered looking at me that way. And worse of all she tortured me" he hiccuped. "She tortured me by trying to be the same way to me as if nothing happened! So every touch, hug, admission of intimacy, to her it was like if I was her brother" he spat the last word out in frustration.


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    Benjamin Watson

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    OOC : Tiffany

    PostSubject: Re: Nothing's fine, I'm Torn (Ben)    Sun Mar 25 2018, 21:34

    Things like that never made sense. Ben never understood how Connor could just...know how people worked. That people could not say things, or say things that didn't mean what they were saying, and yet the other man could see through it to the truth. He just got how other people ticked.

    Except for the girl he was so infatuated with.

    It was a bit of shock, though, hearing that the little lion had looked somewhere else for companionship. As much as Ben had gone on and on - for years - about how stupid Connor was to pine after her, he'd actually started wondering if he wouldn't just come home one day and they had melded into one odd individual.

    He didn't like hearing the pain in his friend's voice. It made his skin itch as he frowned. 'Torture' was a bit much. Ben wasn't one for physical contact, but how could a hug be as painful as Connor was making it seem. "I'm sure it couldn't have been as bad as all that."

    This wasn't helping. Ben wasn't the helping kind. He was more the 'set fire to the coffee table and make others put it out' kind. Maybe...

    "She is kinda dense, that girl. Maybe she...I don't know. What if she didn't mean to rub it in?"
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    Connor Bailey

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    Dragon Trainer In Training


    PostSubject: Re: Nothing's fine, I'm Torn (Ben)    Sun Mar 25 2018, 21:49



    "She is kinda dense, that girl. Maybe she...I don't know. What if she didn't mean to rub it in?"

    He shook his head in frustration. Of course she wasn't that cruel, but she was obtuse, moreso than he and all the more frustrating to explain why he was upset.

    "No I know she didn't mean to put salt on the wound" he hiccuped. "But it's torture being in that same room as someone you thought understood that what we did was not 'normal' for friends and instead simply tried to hug, cling, just be all demonstra-deamon.."he paused thinking of the word. "You know, showy about her touches!"

    He blindly opened another beer and drank it as if it was water. "I'm angry at myself for being stupid. I'm angry at her for being stupid. I, I'm just angry okay?"

    Turning over to Ben he looked at his friend and couldn't help but ask. "I know you say you've never been in love, but have you ever been touched by someone and felt something? Like warmth, a tingle? A tightness that makes it hard to think? And worse of all you want to take it all in and find that you can't?"

    "Rhian is my tingle"
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    Benjamin Watson

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    Potioneer In Training

    OOC : Tiffany

    PostSubject: Re: Nothing's fine, I'm Torn (Ben)    Sun Mar 25 2018, 22:19

    Connor wasn't wrong in his description of the girl. Ben and Rhian didn't make a habit of spending time together, but he'd seen her and his friend together often enough over the years, at Hogwarts and back at their family's house. She'd had no boundary when it came to Connor, though he couldn't say that she'd been seeking in those touches. They'd seemed innocent more than anything.

    He didn't like how easy Connor downed the next drink. Looking around as the other man spoke, he shuffled a few still full bottles under the couch out of possible reach. Angry. Ben could get behind that. Angry seemed like a better direction than the tears from earlier.

    Until Connor started spouting some shit about love. Ben's immediate response was one of revulsion, as was normal for him.

    Warmth. His mind flashed back to a random encounter in the lab. Soft hands and a too close...well, just too close. He'd returned home afterward and spent more time than he wanted to admit replaying the scene in his mind, trying to pull it apart to understand it better.

    He cleared his throat in an uneasy gesture. "Of course not," he murmured. The idea was laughable. But Connor was getting all sappy again.

    "Listen, Bailey. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Whatever you feel for this girl you can find somewhere else. You've just never bothered to look past the closest thing with a pretty smile." There. That made sense, didn't it? It was in the general vicinity of 'helpful'.
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    Connor Bailey

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    Dragon Trainer In Training


    PostSubject: Re: Nothing's fine, I'm Torn (Ben)    Sun Apr 01 2018, 00:38


    'Of course not'

    Connor rolled his eyes and mocked Ben at his dismissal of emotions. It was frustrating how it felt like he was talking to a wall. Even in the blur of his drunkenness he knew how this made little sense to Ben. His best friend was an amazingly smart person, his brain worked differently than the rest of the population and yet sometimes he was an idiot in terms of other things. Like emotions, but he would not rant on any of that now..

    "One day, you'll know what I'm talking about. And whatever girl, or hell, guy that makes you feel, I hope you realize that they are special before they leave."

    He hiccuped and curled into himself. His eyes were growing droopy and he let the beer fall over spilling into the carpet he always hated.

    "There are pretty people around the world, but no one like her"

    Before anything else, he found himself dozing off surrounded by a mess and a good friend who was an idiot.



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